‘Everything in me will celebrate when you speak what is right.’ Proverbs 23:16 NLT
Criticism will make you a better person if you do these three things:
(1) Look beyond the criticism and see the critic. If it’s someone you
respect, listen to what they say. If it’s someone who’s constantly
critical, don’t place too much value on what they say; they’re probably
just projecting their frustrations onto you. The story’s told of a
twelve-year-old boy who hadn’t spoken since he was born. After being
served oatmeal for breakfast several weeks in a row, he shouted, ‘Yuck, I
hate this stuff!’ His mother jumped up, hugged him and said, ‘We
thought you couldn’t talk. Why haven’t you ever spoken to us?’ Bluntly
he exclaimed, ‘Because up until now everything’s been ok.’ Some folks
only talk when they’re upset. The important question is, does your
critic sincerely want to help you? (2) Try not to take yourself too
seriously. Let’s face it, we all do things we regret. But when you can
laugh at yourself and learn from it, you’re growing into maturity. (3)
Know the difference between constructive and destructive criticism.
Learn how to interpret criticism by asking: (a) In what spirit is it
given? If your critic’s attitude is kind, rest assured it’s meant to be
constructive. (b) When is the criticism given? When somebody criticises
you publicly, usually their intentions aren’t the best. (c) Why is the
criticism given? ‘The purposes of a man’s heart are deep waters, but a
man of understanding draws them out.’ (Proverbs 20:5 NIV) When people
are hurting, they tend to hurt others. So always ask, ‘Was this
criticism given for my benefit or out of personal hurt?’
‘…Christ…while being reviled…did not revile in return…’ 1 Peter 2:21-23 NAS
When it comes to handling criticism the right way you must: (1)
Demonstrate emotional and spiritual maturity. Exhaustion can affect the
way you act when you’re under pressure. Elijah slipped into depression
because of it. Queen Jezebel hounded him relentlessly. Her opposition
sapped his strength and caused him to say, ‘…It is enough; now, O Lord,
take away my life…’ (1 Kings 19:4 KJV) Satan will take advantage of your
weariness. When you’re fatigued you can become overly sensitive and
miss the opportunity for growth that comes with the criticism. (2)
Realise that good people get criticised. Jesus was called a glutton
(Matthew 11:19); a drinker (Luke 7:34); a friend of disreputable
characters (Matthew 11:19). People whose opinions are set and whose
thinking is off won’t understand behaviour based on obedience to God. So
when your ideas and values clash with theirs, try to be gracious. (3)
Always keep a good attitude. Your own attitude can be more detrimental
to you than somebody else’s. You know what they say: ‘A chip on your
shoulder usually indicates wood higher up.’ Peter writes: ‘You have been
called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving
you an example for you to follow in His steps, who committed no sin, nor
was any deceit found in His mouth; and while being reviled, He did not
revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept
entrusting Himself to [God] who judges righteously.’ (1 Peter 2:21-23
NKJV) Give it to God, and press on!
‘It is to a man’s honour to avoid strife…’ Proverbs 20:3 NIV
When it comes to criticism: (1) Concentrate on your mission and
change your mistakes! Most of us do the opposite; when criticism comes
we change our mission and concentrate on our mistakes. If you run every
time you make a mistake, you will never accomplish anything. Instead
you’ll live in constant frustration. The only real mistakes are the ones
from which you learn nothing. So instead of dwelling on your mistakes,
count on making some, growing wiser and moving on to finish the job.
There’s an old Arabian proverb that says, ‘If you stop every time a dog
barks, your road will never end.’ Don’t let your failures become
roadblocks-turn them into building blocks. Proverbs 27:17 NIV says,
‘Iron sharpens iron…’ So pray and grow sharper through criticism. (2)
Spend time with the right people. When you have optional time spend it
with those who build you up, not tear you down. Quality time with the
right people will strengthen your faith and fortify you against the
effects of the worst criticism. It will also keep you from becoming
critical yourself. When crows attack a hawk, the hawk doesn’t
counter-attack. Instead, it soars higher and higher in ever-widening
circles until the pests leave it alone. What a great strategy! Circle
above your critics rather than stooping to their level: ‘It is to a
man’s honour to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel.’ If
your attitude is to have any effect on people it will be because of your
example, not your defensiveness.
‘…If God is for us, who can be against us?’ Romans 8:31 NKJV
The moment you lift your head above the crowd you’ll attract
attention, and not always the kind you want. Learn from the duck. He
stays calm on the surface, keeps paddling underneath, and lets the water
run off him. Time is on your side. When Nathanael asked, concerning
Jesus, ‘Can anything good come out of Nazareth?’ Philip answered, ‘…Come
and see…’ (John 1:46 NKJV) Nathanael did, and he ended up becoming a
disciple. Often, as events unfold, the cause of the criticism will
become clear and you’ll be vindicated. But you must keep going. George
Bernard Shaw, the Irish playwright, certainly had his critics-but he
knew how to handle them. After one opening a critic stood up in the
audience and shouted, ‘It’s rotten!’ Shaw stood up and replied, ‘I
agree, but what are we against so many?’ Nobody had more critics than
Paul, yet he wrote: ‘If God be for us, who can be against us?’ Without
courage we simply accumulate a collection of good ideas-and regrets.
Most of our missed opportunities wouldn’t have been missed if we had
been willing to push through the criticism and embrace what could have
been. All of us experience fear. But here’s the difference: the winner’s
need for progress overwhelms their reluctance to take a risk. They can
live more easily with the memory of having tried and failed, than not
having tried at all. They know that failure is an inevitable part of
success, and failure always brings criticism. And while others fear
stepping out into a new opportunity, the winner fears missing out on it.
